


If You Wanna, I Might.

by gaydisasterdanvers



Series: Fictober 2019 [17]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adorable Fluff, Alex is a gay disaster, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, F/F, First Girl Crush, First Kiss, Sanvers - Freeform, Summer Camp, Teenage Dorks, Teenagers, honestly this is pure, mix tapes and adorable crap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaydisasterdanvers/pseuds/gaydisasterdanvers
Summary: An adorable fluffy teenage Sanvers summer camp AU that literally nobody asked for but deserved anyway.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Maggie Sawyer, Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Series: Fictober 2019 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1508042
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	If You Wanna, I Might.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my trouble twin, beta and fellow disaster for taking the time to help me through this fic. You know exactly who you are.

Written for Tumblr's **[Fictober 2019](https://fictober-event.tumblr.com/)**

**Prompts- ** _"Listen. No, really listen."_

_&_

_"Secrets? I love secrets."_

** _Note:_ **

_The song in the end scene is "If You Wanna, I might." By Hellogoodbye_

_I made a playlist to go along with this story. _

** [ _Find the playlist here._ ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1mMLm6sYNhZUjWrCr4eKwk?si=OtourLY_QlycMZKcLti3_Q) **

Like what you read? Find me on **[Tumblr.](https://www.gaydisasterdanvers.tumblr.com/)**

* * *

It’s just after midnight and the acres of Camp Buckatabon’s property descend into the silent hours of the early morning. The moon paints the soccer pitch in shadow, leaving Alex to tug at her sweatshirt to fight the chill of Wisconsin’s summer nights. She’s thankful for the silence. The solitude. Maggie would be meeting her here in the darkness, a familiar routine they’d fallen into during the early weeks of the summer. After 11 months apart, the sixteen year olds had a lot to catch up on. After all, it seemed so much had changed since their first summer together. _Hell,_ so much had changed since the present summer had started four weeks earlier.

This summer there was a palpable shift in the dynamic between the teens. They’d fallen into the same familiar routine, sharing a bunk and sometimes even a bed on the colder nights. Alex found herself with a constant need to be closer to Maggie Sawyer, to touch her and draw the dimpled grin across her lips. If Alex were around, most staff knew Maggie wouldn’t be far behind. 

Somewhere along the way they’d even gained a collective nickname, ‘Sanvers’. 

So inseparable that they were essentially one person.

_That_ kind of friendship.

They ate together. They took classes together, enrolled in activities together and always made sure to play for the same team in recreational sports. 

Sara Lance called them _girlfriends_. Because everyone at camp knew Maggie Sawyer was gay. 

But Alex Danvers wasn’t. Or, she didn’t think she was.

Until one day when Maggie was forced to partner with another girl in their cabin for a scavenger hunt and Alex felt like someone punched her square in the gut. Repeatedly. With a hot blade. It was dramatic and boy did that hurt send her reeling. Maggie was laughing at someone else’s jokes and it made her skin crawl with anxiety because Maggie was her best friend. The idea of someone else filling that space made her feel something unexpected: _jealousy_. 

Then it happened like this: Alex felt herself leaning a little more into Maggie’s side when they sat around the campfire- as though she was drawn by the magnetism of Maggie’s sun-kissed skin. When they shared a bed, albeit a small one, she wrapped an arm protectively over the smaller girl to tug her closer, losing herself in the faint smell of coconut masked by the lingering smell of crackling wood. She expected to meet friends at camp. She hadn’t expected to feel something that made all the songs make sense. 

The flutter in her chest when Maggie laughed at her jokes, full teeth and double dimples shining brightly as the sound filled the air around them. Butterflies, she’d always been told, was what love felt like. What she hadn’t been told is that the simple act of looking into her best friend’s brown eyes could send her heart rate skyrocketing into dangerous territory. It’d catch her off guard and make her stumble over her words. And her own feet. And basically over any nearby surface, human or item. That the goosebumps on her skin would make her mind blank at the simple brush of their skin. That she wouldn’t ever be content with just holding hands or curling up with layers between them.

She wanted to know if Maggie’s chapped lips would taste like mango Burt’s Bees. 

But Alex Danvers wasn’t gay. 

_…Was she?_

_-_

It’s the last day of their second summer together when Alex finds the courage to ask for an outside perspective. Maggie hits the showers, one of the few things they don’t actually do together, and Alex climbs up to Sara’s bunk and settles in beside her, giving the blonde a shove to get her attention. “Danvers,” Sara says slowly, pulling the earbuds from her ears before rising to a sitting position, “what brings you to this side of the cabin? Your girl run off with Kate again?”

_Her girl. _

The comment makes Alex blush furiously, and she slaps a hand playfully at Sara’s shoulder, “She’s not my girl,” Alex replies loudly -too loudly- with a roll of her eyes. A moment passes with Sara waiting expectedly for an answer, “Can I talk to you about something? Like a secret something?”

“Secrets? I love secrets,” Sara replies, rubbing her palms together as she leans into Alex’s space, “Okay, tell me what’s going on.”

Alex’s brown eyes do a quick scan around the room to ensure no unwanted attention was on them before she quietly asks, “How did you know you were bi?”

“Holy shit, do you like Saw-” Sara gasps dramatically before Alex’s hand clamps over the girl’s mouth and effectively muffles the end of the sentence. Sara’s fingers pry at Alex’s hand, eyes wide in surprise before she lowers her voice, “I just kind of knew, I guess. I thought boys were hot, but then I also was like ‘woah, girls’. So, that’s the answer. At least for me.”

“What if there is only really one girl though? Like… I don’t-” Alex whispered before looking around quickly again, “It’s only her. I’m not attracted to like… every girl.”

Sara laughed, shaking loose the damp strands of blonde at the top of her head, “I’m not either, that’s not quite how it works. But, if you feel like you’re into her, tell her. I mean, the worst that happens is she doesn’t like you back. And if that’s the case, we all leave tomorrow morning and you don’t have to talk about it ever again!”

“Okay, but…”

“Listen, Danvers,” Sara begins, but her eyes widen quickly as she nods towards the bathroom door where Maggie appears, wrapped in a towel. Both Sara and Alex offer a wave to Maggie who regards them curiously before she turns her back to them to get dressed. Once she’s sure the small girl’s gaze is otherwise occupied, Sara turns back to Alex, “I’m a big fan of just going for it. I promise, try it out. And don’t do anything I would. You’ll be golden.”

–

Alex’s worried mind ceases it’s onslaught of anxious thinking because Maggie’s body drops to the ground beside her, tossing an armful of snacks on Alex’s stomach with a grin, “Tonight was easy, not a single soul around to distract at the canteen,” Maggie says mischievously as she digs through the pile of snack foods, tossing a bag of sour cream and onion chips to Alex’s side of the blanket, “They’re all probably partying for the end of the summer.” 

Pushing up on her elbows, Alex toys with the bag of chips (her favorite, of course, because Maggie never forgets the little things) before stuffing it into her bag. On any other night she’d indulge, but she only had one piece of gum and that was not enough to mask the aftertaste the offending chips will leave in her mouth. Instead, she grabs at a Twix and splits the wrapper down the middle, offering the candy bar on the right side to Maggie who watches her with a laugh, “What? The left side always tastes better.”

“Danvers, if you flip the package, the one you just gave me is the left one. It’s all about perspective,” Maggie smiles in the stupid way that only Alex can trigger and shakes her head, “You and your weird left-sided food OCD.”

“It’s the left side if you hold the package this way every time,” she motions to the T of the logo being at the top of her grip, the X at the bottom, “You always get the left side,” Alex explains, taking a bite of the chocolate covered cookie bar. Feeling Maggie’s gaze on her, she lets her eyes close, groaning against the mouthful of chocolate, “Left side is soooo much better.”

“Whatever, you freakin’ nerd,” Maggie says through a mouthful of candy before she drops her upper body back onto the blanket, folding one hand under her head while the other tugs at the fabric of Alex’s shirt to pull her back to the ground beside her. Between them, their hands rest side by side, back to back, but the contact is enough to make Alex shiver against the electricity that zips through her nerve endings at the contact.

The two girls lay in a comfortable silence, the way they usually do, simply content with the familiarity of each other’s company. There is a movement beside her, but Alex doesn’t look over because she can feel Maggie’s dark eyes on her, watching without as much as a word. She wants to ask for her thoughts; wants to know if she’s thinking about their summer together, and how the next 11 months are going to feel like an eternity until they can see each other again. Will they be in the same place next summer? She imagines Maggie coming back with stories of all the girls she has met in Alex’s absence. The ones she has kissed and held in ways that Alex craves but doesn’t know how to ask for. The heat of Maggie’s eyes fades as she shifts back to look skyward.

“I’m not ready for this summer to be over,” Maggie speaks, her voice a whisper against the cicadas buzzing in the woods flanking the field. It’s rare that the smaller girl’s voice is so unsure, so soft and sad. Alex thinks she’s only heard this tone of voice once before: when Maggie told her about how coming out lost her the support of her family, “I don’t want to go home.” 

“Me either,” Alex responds, pulling her eyes from the stars to the girl at her side, “but we’ll stay in touch, like always. I mean, I’m literally always on AIM. You can come visit! You’d love it in Midvale. We can go surfing.”

“I can’t say I’m the best swimmer, Danvers. Not a whole lot of ocean in Nebraska. Just a crick or two, some ponds. But nothing like the ocean. I don’t know if I’d make it,” Maggie replies with an upwards quirk of a dark brow.

Alex whips her head to Maggie’s direction and blinks rapidly, “Wait, a- what?! What is a crick?”

Maggie balks at the question,“Like… a stream?”

“A CREEK,” Alex practically shouts before her lips curl into a grin, “Oh my god. Nebraska really is something else.”

“Whatever. Crick, creek, same difference,” Maggie replies with a shrug. 

“Absolutely not the same. Completely different words.”

“Ask anyone in the midwest, they’ll know.”

“Well, when I come visit you’ll have to prove this ‘crick’ theory,” Alex says, tilting her head to angle against Maggie’s as they both turn their eyes on the dark sky overhead. If they don’t look at each other, it won’t be awkward. Alex won’t panic. The sky is safe. 

“Visit Nebraska? I don’t know that you’d enjoy it much. It isn’t for everyone, hell it isn’t even really for me. But I don’t have a choice, not until college and then I’m getting the hell out, assuming I can get a scholarship somewhere,” Maggie muses, “I need to get it together.” 

“Well, you can just come live with me, duh,” Alex says, boldly extending her pinky to trace over the back of Maggie’s knuckles, “Wherever I end up. You wouldn’t even take up that much space, probably could just share my bed since you’re like… a baby spoon and all. I’ve had stuffed animals bigger than you.”

“And short jokes are definitely the way to convince me,” Maggie says with a smirk as she quickly jabs her elbow into Alex’s ribs, “But, yeah, I’ll talk to my aunt about a trip. Midvale sounds fun.”

“Well, I mean, I live there, so definitely adds some fun points.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Maggie replies, and it isn’t hard to hear the smile pressing dimples into her cheeks. 

“Whatever,” Alex replies, using an elbow to prop herself up so she can dig into the messenger bag crumpled at her hip. From the depths of the bag she pulls headphones, pulling the cord until the attached CD player appears. Fiddling briefly with the tangled mess of cord, she manages to pull one earbud free and offer it to Maggie, “I made a mix cd. For the last night of camp. I thought we could listen to it.”

“You made us a mix CD?” Maggie asks skeptically, accepting the earbud but holding it at her side as she eyes Alex through the dark. 

“Well, yeah. I made _you_ a mix CD,” Alex ducks her head, allowing a curtain of dark hair to tumble over her face. Even in the cool night air she can feel the flush of embarrassment at her ears and cheeks. At this point, her heart pounds so heavily against her ribs that she’s sure if Maggie listened close enough she’d be able to hear it. And that’d be even mortifying than the embarrassment she’s currently feeling. 

Maggie’s features soften, a bright toothy grin shining through the night, “You made me a mix CD? You getting soft on me Danvers?”

“Shut up!”

“Fine, I’ll listen. But if it’s showtunes…” she replies, watching as Alex shifts back into position beside her and fiddles briefly with the Discman before the sound of the spinning CD fills the silence, signaling the start of the mix. Maggie tucks the earbud into her left ear, Alex does the same to her right before setting the player between their bodies, “Wait, it’s not going to be that emo stuff, is it?”

“Listen,” Alex says as the first song starts. It’s an upbeat tune, and she can tell Maggie doesn’t expect the poppy synthesizer beats. From the corner of her eye, Alex sees Maggie’s mouth open to speak, so she interrupts the thought, “No, really… listen.” Maggie’s mouth snaps shut with a grumble as she settles herself into Alex’s side so close that their shoulders press against one another.

The nerves build in the pit of her stomach, clenching and nearly making her nauseous. Maggie’s eyes close to focus on the lyrics, her fingers tapping rhythmically at her hip. With each beat, her fingers brush against Alex’s hand. Daringly, Alex extends her pinky again to brush over Maggie’s knuckles the next time she taps to the drum beat. At the recognition of touch, Maggie’s hand flinches away before freezing flat against the denim at her thigh. 

_I’ve been assuming everything_  
_hoping you’ll soon mean everything_  
_I’ve gotta stay calm I want this to be real_  
_I don’t think you’re into me_  
_and truly that’s okay with me_  
_I’ve gotta stay calm and find out how you feel_

It’s new to her- the feeling of wanting to be closer to someone. Alex had a boyfriend once, but hadn’t wanted to be close to him. Ever. When he reached for her hand, she always jerked away out of habit from his clammy digits. When they hugged, it was suffocating. 

With Maggie, she wanted _more_. To tuck her face into her shoulder and lose herself in the warmth of coconut shampoo. Her fingers itched to brush at exposed skin; to trace patterns at her wrists and ankles and knees. 

_So if you wanna say ‘I-I-I like you’_  
_I might feel just like you_  
_if you choose-choose not to_  
_I knew you-you would_  
_sometimes I think I am out of my league_  
_and then sometimes I think I can dream_  
_sometimes I wish I could be the one fish_  
_that you choose out of all in the sea_

Alex keeps her eyes shut as the song ends and she feels Maggie pull away from her side. The summer air suddenly leaves a chill that wraps around her body, pressing until it reaches her bones. The CD abruptly stops spinning, and she feels the earbud being pulled from its spot in her ear. Even with her eyes closed, she can feel the radiating warmth of Maggie’s fingers as they hover at her jaw but don’t press to the skin. The warmth recedes into the cool night air, “Alex, I-”

Alex’s eyes squeeze shut tighter as she braces herself, “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything,” she speaks against the anxious grip her heart holds on her tongue, “I mean, I get it.”

“No, Alex. I do,” Maggie replies, pressing up on her elbow as she hooks her pinky around Alex’s and gives a quick squeeze before continuing, “Like you, I mean. I do. You have to be blind to not see it. But uhm, I didn’t think you were, you know-”

“Gay,” Alex finishes. 

“Right, that.” 

“Well, I don’t know what I am, or if there needs to be a label for it. But I know that I really, really, really like you, Maggie Sawyer,” Alex says with a bashful smile that erupts across her cheeks, painting blush across her skin in the pale moonlight, “Like, a lot. So, if that makes me gay I guess I’m pretty gay for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Maggie teases, her eyes traveling to where their fingers link. She uses the hook of her pinky to tug Alex’s hand upward, urging her fingers to splay open so she can slip her own digits between Alex’s and fold their hands together, “Well I guess I’m pretty gay for you too.”

The smile that teases Alex’s lips is bright, pulling from the corners of her eyes and stretching the muscles at her jaw. Shyly, she reaches a free hand to tuck a free lock of thick dark hair behind Maggie’s ear, allowing her fingers to trace over the shell of Maggie’s ear, her palm coming to cup at the sharp angle of her jawline. A thumb ghosts over Maggie’s cheek; from the prominent line of her cheekbone, across the divet of a dimple, to the corner of her lips. Alex’s gaze flickers from the moonlight reflected in Maggie’s dark eyes to where the calloused pad of her thumb traces over Maggie’s supple lower lip.

“I really want to kiss you,” Alex breathes, feeling her heart catch in her chest as Maggie’s tongue darts to wet the chapped skin of her lips, “But I’ve, uhm, never kissed a girl before.”

“Me neither, but I wouldn’t stop you,” Maggie says, pressing her lips gently to the fingertip that traces over her mouth. Then, she holds Alex’s gaze and leans forward, abandoning her hold on Alex’s hand to wrap her fingers at the back of the girl’s neck to draw her forward until she feels hot breath at her lips causing her eyelids to flutter shut as Alex’s mouth replaces her thumb. 

A moment passes where neither girl moves, lips stilled against one another. Maggie’s hand flexes at the nape of Alex’s neck, fingers trembling as they loosely tangle in the dark strands. Their lips slant together slowly, cautiously, and Alex feels the reverb of her heart echoing in the tips of her toes, the press of Maggie’s mouth sends fire singeing through her bloodstream. Those damn butterflies in her stomach are beating their wings and she knows that this is right. That the cliches were all correct. Because she can’t think about anything other than the way Maggie’s lips are soft and pliant, chapped because she’s smiling against Alex’s mouth and those damn dimples are on full display. 

And maybe it’s forward and too much, but Alex can’t help but let her tongue trace Maggie’s lower lip because she needs to know if she tastes like chapstick and when her mouth opens on a gasp she can taste chocolate and caramel and _Maggie_. It takes every ounce of self control for her to maintain the pace, because she doesn’t want to stop but it’s new and her body is overwhelmed by the sensation of Maggie’s teeth toying at her lower lip. Slowing the contact, Alex allows Maggie to adjust before she pulls back just enough to look at the calm across Maggie’s features, more relaxed than she’s ever seen and when Maggie’s lips, plump and thoroughly kissed, break out in a genuine smile, it radiates through her chest. 

“_Wow,_” Maggie murmurs, a half lidded gaze fighting to find Alex’s in the dark. She gives a short laugh, and that damn radiant smile could probably be seen from space at this point, “That was… Danvers, why did we wait so long to do that?”

Alex lifts her shoulders in response before diving back in to press a series of gentle kisses to the corners of Maggie’s mouth. When she feels Maggie fighting to meet her lips, she moves to brush over each dimple. A chuckle slips past her lips as Maggie’s hands grasp her face to pull their lips together again. They sip from each other’s mouths, exploring the push and pull of soft lips and teeth and the tiniest bit of tongue until they’re forced apart to catch their breath.

Tilting her forehead to rest against the smaller girl’s, Alex holds her gaze, seeing the faint pink and orange hues of the rising sun reflected in the chocolate brown, “I-I-I- I like you, Sawyer,” Alex sings in a whisper, unable to keep the stupid happy grin that pulls at her lips.

“Yeah?” Maggie smiles bright as the morning sun, “Well I-I-I- I like you too, Danvers.”


End file.
